Human Imperfection...I'll take it.

Perfection: The condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.


I'm pretty sure the appropriate definition is God. And if we looked up its antonym, we should be able to find the word human.


I've been laying in my bed late at night in the dark lately, listening to the noise upstairs, having my brother walk in my room and tell me I'm weird for laying here like this, sitting in silence. But more than that, I've been thinking about our imperfections as humans, more so my own imperfection and my own attempt to look perfect to the outside world.


And today as I got dressed to go out, I said to myself, "Okay Lindsay, put your blazer on, some eyeliner, the right shoes. Put on that smile you have attached yourself to through thick and thin, and pretend for another couple of hours." That's what I did. It seemed real for the few hours I was out. I felt perfect. The world could see my smile, the new dress I bought, the pin straight hair I perfected before I got out of the car. But tonight, sitting in a youth group, something broke in me. That new dress sat in my closet, my hair was pinned back, my smile traded in for tears and a closed mouth. 


The Lord said, "You're imperfect. But that is perfect for me, because I want you to be that vision of imperfection that draws in girls behind you- the imperfection that says I want to be closer to the one perfection that is greater than all the issues my imperfection brings. Don't hide behind masked perfection- shine light on it."


Perfection masks all of our insecurities and all of our missteps. It covers our sin, and if we can look like we haven't struggled and haven't hurt before, we are golden. Wrong. The fact is that we were created for sin- we mess up, we repent, we go a little further, we mess up again...keep the cycle going. And by His wounds we have been saved- all of our imperfections are covered, so why do we continue to try and  cover them with human material and quite honestly, crap? 


What if we looked at the picture through clean eyes? His grace and mercy is what sustains us in all of our imperfection. We were not created to live in shaded imperfection. Come out of the forest of shade and masked perfection to see the light and what true perfection looks like- His creation, His beauty, His mercy for the lost who come out to seek His face.


I'm creeping along the outside of that forest. I'm seeing parts of His beauty and parts of His mercy that bring more awe into my life everyday. But I'm still hiding- I'm not going to lie. I still want to put that perfect dress on and wear that eyeliner that will keep me from crying and exposing any flaw I may have.


However, tomorrow is a new day. A minute from now is a new moment. And in that time, I'm going to admit to myself. "I'm not perfect. But I will be that vision of imperfection if it means I get one step closer to feeling the grace and mercy of Perfection itself."