His love conquers all.
It has been on my mind now all day, following a simple text last night. And as I stood in worship at a chapel tonight with friends, the lyrics appeared on the screen "You are good, You are good, And Your love endures." It was like it was being drilled into my head; there was no running, no hiding, and no denying.
The truth is that human love only goes so far. We hurt people that we claim to love. We lose people who claim to love us in return. We love to an end that is visible. But I'm being hit with the realization that God's love sees no end; it is infinite, and it is greater than any love we can ever know here on earth.
I am just as guilty as the next person when it comes to loving to deeply and neglecting God for a more humanly form of love. Late at night when I am scared, or when I feel alone in this battle, I search for my friends. I look for a hug, or just everyday interactions. I look for an "I love you." God is not the first turn I take to; partly for fear of His love not being enough, but more than that, for fear of losing myself in Him. If I do not let Him love me, I can still keep running.
Running led me to a wall that I am pretty sure I hit face first this past week. I had cut off all interaction with God, did not let myself listen to Him as I had the first few weeks here. Every time He tried to love me when I needed, I shoved Him out. Earlier in the week, a friend told me that sometimes we need to let others love us to a point where we can learn to love ourselves. In spite of hearing her, I pretended to not, and when those who I know He placed in my life to love on me like I cannot love on myself tried to care and tried to push past my defenses, I shoved them out. I became cold to the touch this past week. Every "I love you" I shrugged off, and every "You're beautiful" I heard, I told myself they were lying.
I found myself on Friday reflecting on God and how I had neglected His love all week. And a walk in the rain where I vented all my frustrations on a friend gave me the humbleness (if that is even a word? it is now) to apologize to those I had been cold to all week. And He wasted no time in amazing me yet again. Part of His enduring love is in the people He places in our lives. I was met with nothing but pure genuineness and simmering love.
Jeremiah 31:3 says "...I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." I think this week speaks for itself. He never ceased to stop loving, never stopped showing me kindness, even when I was shutting down on myself.
There was a time in my life when had I been cold to anyone, they would have walked off and not allowed me back in again. Before faith and before I believed in something greater, I would have told myself that I deserved the lack of love, for if I could not be open enough to accept their kindness, I was not worthy of such devotion. But it is the furthest thing from true. God wants us all to work together as a family, something very new to me. I’ve been drawn to these verses lately about those who walk in Christ and how they are those who sacrifice for others who surround them. John 15:13 says it perfectly. “Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his friends.” We are supposed to give all we have for one another, especially those we love, for with His love, we can conquer too. We can endure hardship, pain, disaster, and still be.
So this week and in those upcoming, I strive to live in His everlasting love. I strive to be less humanistic and dwell within the beauty of His love for us all, as I fight to not push those who I love, and those He has given me to love me, out of my life. For in His love, there is hope and a faith greater than we can ever know, just to match His love.
