A New Home and New Hope.

I prayed for the first time today. And for the first time, I truly feel blessed in this exact moment in time. Today, God can do no wrong and today, God is someone that I want to find.

I’ve worked my whole life to get to this place; sanctity of safety and peace, where everyone is surrounded by love and support any and every time they shall need it. I’m still very much a work in progress and I may never hit perfection, but for today, I know that God has listened. For one hand on my shoulder and having kept me on my feet for one more day in this process, He opened his doors and listened to me. I think I like the idea of Him.

When I first left home, this journey seemed so exciting, and it truly has been. But it is also this blessing and a gift from God to be exactly where I am at present. A conversation I had with a friend revealed to me that I am no different from those who truly believe in God’s handiwork. I merely use different words to describe what happens. I always looked at where I ended up as a coincidence- being in a place where someone could relate to me and guide me along this journey when I left everything 15 hours away from what I now call home. However, maybe it is just a little piece of God’s love for me and desire for me to become new. It is His reassurance for me and his gift to put me in this place. So today, I thank Him.

Everyone here is so faithful and so beautiful in their own ways. Part of moving away has been finding my place in this world, and in the bigger picture. Finding the beauty that He has put inside of me and using it for some sort of productivity is my goal in this place. In Jeremiah 29:11, it is obvious that God has set out a plan for each of us in our lifetime, one not of harm but of prosperity and hope, and it is just that. Tonight, I thanked Him for all that He has done and I asked Him to lead me in the proper direction, away from the harm and hurt I have seen.  I know He heard me and that my wish will be fulfilled as I grow stronger in my faith and belief in Him.

Each day I sit here, surrounded by such strong and loving individuals, and I can’t help but strive to be like them. Children of God, they surround me and give me hope that one day, I too, will be in His everlasting acceptance once again. I ask Him to pray for those who have hurt me and those who I love, and I ask that I be forgiven for running and for letting the materialistic things in life swallow my pride and take me so far away.

The truth is that this is only the start. Every day I wake up and there is a fresh start and it is mine to make. In New York it was this constant struggle to move forward and to live a life of true happiness, which was blind sighted by unforgiving nature and my own lack of acknowledgement. But I can truly wake every morning and thank God that I have been granted another opportunity; to love, to laugh, to smile… to be myself for all that I am and loved for just that.

The feeling of God being everywhere on this campus is amazing in itself. Everything seems new, graceful, and so beautiful and I know that there must be something wonderful in store. Looking from outside to in, I see the hurt, but now I can embrace hope for He wants me to know that I was put here for a reason and that I shall trade hurt for beauty and find myself in this journey.

So on we will go… becoming Belmont seems wonderful and lovely. And to the people here, thank you for being solid rocks to lean on already <3